On a Different Tangent...
Recently there was a demonstration by people of the sexual minorities community in Bangalore. It was a sight that evoked lot of curiosity in people. They came in numbers, the participants, and they were open and vocal about their cause, and the harassment and discomfort they face.
People from this community don't have it too easy. Imagine a life where you have to live in constant fear - of being ridiculed, mocked, of being thrashed for daring to love or daring to look for love/sex from your own gender. It is a matter of individual choice, finally, and I think we should let them be. We don't even have the claim to be able to 'allow' them to live as they like, they have their own right, as long as they are not doing stuff to others by force.
One instance comes to mind. It was new year's eve 1995, and I was having a drink alone in my bachelor's pad - a very quiet new year plan. The room next door was having a very raucous new year's eve - whistling, loud music, clapping, the thump of feet on the ground as drunken boys tried to dance, and general merriment all around. I walked over to say hi, more out of curiosity actually, because these were not your upper class revellers, more working class guys who generally slogged their work days.
In the room were about 15 guys, most of them smashed, swaying and dancing and hooting - the works. Between them was one sole transvestite - happily dancing away, drink in hand. I was a bit puzzled, and to be honest, disgusted, because I had never seen a transvestite from up close, and didn't think too much of a man (boy, actually) that loved to dress like a woman, polished toe nails, stillettos and all. I walked back to my room.
New Year's came and after a while all was quiet. However, I could hear the shuffling of feet in the next room, and the hushed sound of people trying to scurry around noiselessly. I went out to check what the scene was, and saw all of them looking around for something. I asked them not to make too much noise, and went back in. Then I heard the whispers 'Elli hogide awunu' or something to that extent which meant 'where did he go'? That got me a little suspicious. I came out and threw a standard smiling 'enu aitu guru?'. The response was shocking. In Kannada, 'That whore ran away'...
I figured they were talking about the transvestite. So I too went out, and after searching a bit, found him cowering in the corner of the wall near the back of my room. He had been slightly bruised, from being slapped and kicked around, I guess. He was crying, and one could see the teror in his eyes. When I asked him what the matter was, he said that they were all drunk and that they all wanted a good ol' gangbang. I am not easily shaken, but that did shake me.
I brought him back to my room, gave him the bed, went out, and told the guys that he would be staying at my place for the night. They grumbled, 'we brought him, let him out', etc. etc. but backed away nevertheless. Once inside I asked the guy not to cry, just sleep and go in the morning. Then I cursed him. How the hell could he be so gullible? Did he think 15 guys called him over to give him flowers? Or what? He said initially there was just one. Whom he met furtively, in Cubbon Park. It was New Year's eve,, and the poor guy was just looking for some fun, sex, love, whatever you call it, to lighten up his otherwise fear-filled life.
The guy left the next morning, and of course I became the object of derision, mockery, scorn, etc. for the next two weeks or so. I had voluntarily asked a transvestite to stay with me. People asked me why I did it. I didn't think I needed to answer that one. I still don't think so.
For heterosexuals like us, social acceptance is something we don't even think about, because it is a given, unless we turn out to be thugs, murderers, rapists, antisocials. For people like the one I met that New Year's night, it isn't. Life is traumatic. From the confusions regarding their sexual leanings at an early age, to the fear of being raped, thrashed, caught (the cops sodomize them for free if they manage to get them into the lock-up, even now). They have no respect from most of us, not because of their incompetence or inferiority, but because of our boorishness and arrogance. We don't have to be tolerant of them, we don't have any right to be, because they aren't inferior to us, more aptly, we are in no way superior to them. We need to let them just live.
Is that so hard a thing to do?
I brought him back to my room, gave him the bed, went out, and told the guys that he would be staying at my place for the night. They grumbled, 'we brought him, let him out', etc. etc. but backed away nevertheless. Once inside I asked the guy not to cry, just sleep and go in the morning. Then I cursed him. How the hell could he be so gullible? Did he think 15 guys called him over to give him flowers? Or what? He said initially there was just one. Whom he met furtively, in Cubbon Park. It was New Year's eve,, and the poor guy was just looking for some fun, sex, love, whatever you call it, to lighten up his otherwise fear-filled life.
The guy left the next morning, and of course I became the object of derision, mockery, scorn, etc. for the next two weeks or so. I had voluntarily asked a transvestite to stay with me. People asked me why I did it. I didn't think I needed to answer that one. I still don't think so.
For heterosexuals like us, social acceptance is something we don't even think about, because it is a given, unless we turn out to be thugs, murderers, rapists, antisocials. For people like the one I met that New Year's night, it isn't. Life is traumatic. From the confusions regarding their sexual leanings at an early age, to the fear of being raped, thrashed, caught (the cops sodomize them for free if they manage to get them into the lock-up, even now). They have no respect from most of us, not because of their incompetence or inferiority, but because of our boorishness and arrogance. We don't have to be tolerant of them, we don't have any right to be, because they aren't inferior to us, more aptly, we are in no way superior to them. We need to let them just live.
Is that so hard a thing to do?
posted by The Wise Man From Hell @ 9:25 PM
4 Comments:
Respect is such a rare commodity indeed! What is rarer is compassion and courage to stand up for what you believe is right.
That was an awesome thing what you did for that kid! It is so good to know human beings like you exist.
Seriously.. where does the moral police go when such things happen!?? When Sania wears a skirt the whole nation debates about it.. and when human rights are violated so badly all ppl not only turn a blind eye to it but they mock you for doing what you did!? wtf!
I guess tolerance here is not coz they are inferior as much as coz they are different. Human beings are sacred of anything that looks like them but doesn't act like it came from the same assembly line.
wow
i am proud of you..and truly respect what you did
what hurts most is that ppl with alternate sexualities are viewed are aliens.
we forget that they are human being with feelings and fears..just like the rest of us
it is truly saddening..
and its more saddening to know
that one has to face derision if you believe in basic human respect
chits...
so much so that we have to come up with 'high brow' terms to distinguish them from the rest of us...:-)
not their fault... better a high brow term than an insulting 'fag' or 'dyke b****' form of address.
respect, well...what can i say? look at the leaders we elect. speaks volumes of where the term respect has gone...
A big applause to you Aj. It was truly touching.
I was still not yet out of what I read in the vision from hell post, and then this one!
>>"We don't have to be tolerant of them, we don't have any right to be, because they aren't inferior to us, more aptly, we are in no way superior to them."
I wish and hope every person thinks in the same lines.
I get a similar feeling and also sympathy whenever I see the so called Chakkas or Eunuchs wandering around shops asking for money and people around mocking them. They are still human beings right? Why can't they be given equal treatment and let them be a part of the mainstream society? Why make them different?
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