Lucifer: Lucifer calling Wise Man from hell. Come in. Over.
Wise Man: Wassup, hommes?
Lucifer: Hey! Mind the manners, Wise Man. You must show respect to me! Over.
Wise Man: Manners??? Ha! You sound like you been demoted to Heaven... And what's with the Morse-ian 'over' bit? You still got your ass stuck in history or what?
Lucifer: Hey! That's because I don't have any of the technology bigwigs around here yet; they have managed to bribe their way into Heaven. All I got here is Old Morse, and Alexander Graham Bell is senile. I asked him to give me a working prototype of his stupid invention and after a month of going cuckoo he managed to patch together an alarm clock. So what do I have? Morse and his outdated technology. Over.
Wise Man: What the hell do you need technology bigwigs for? Be careful of them, by the way. The one that dropped out of school owns Microsoft now. Just get some stupid junior techie with a fancy degree. You'll have a few of those, I am sure.
Lucifer: Yeah I have a few of those. But they dangle their company's confidentiality agreement and patent every time I ask them about technology. The smarter ones ask for royalty. Can you believe that? Ask me for royalty!! I almost fainted.
Wise Man: Do I have to tell you everything nowadays, Luce? Just get old Medusa to walk naked before them, and you'll have the latest in hi-tec communications at your beck and call.
Lucifer: Medusa!!?? @%&@$ Arrgh! She gives even me the creeps. Why don't we scout around for a few hot model types?
Wise Man: Why? You feeling horny yourself - no pun intended - or have you come across a lot of money lately? Don't bother with hot models for techies. Those guys will dig Medusa, trust me. Anything that vaguely resembles woman will do, and age no bar...
Lucifer: Be careful with your comments about 'horny', my boy. Those are my prized possessions, you know...
Wise Man: My boy? Man, you are getting on in years, Luce. You look old, you sound stupid, and you act dumb these days. Why don't you put yourself to pasture? Go to heaven's gates, spit on those that arrive there, mock the Archangel or anyone else you find there, piss on the clouds. You might get a few cents thrown at you, hopefully not 50, coz that will rap the shit out of you... Hell you could even try and tempt some of those fairies down to our lair. You used to be good at that, remember? In short, have yourself some fun, dude.
Lucifer: I will take that under advisement. And grrrr...your language is bad. Where the hell have you been and what the hell have you been doing anyways?
Wise Man: I have been chilling out here on Earth. It is an awesome place. Makes your Hell look like kindergarten, and you like a toothless old crone.
Lucifer: Enough, enough. Earth is just a laboratory for me to experiment on, not some super-advanced version of Hell as you think... When are you coming back here anyways? Need some help to control all these freaks here. Do you know that I haven't had a whipping orgy in 350 years?
Wise Man: Dude, go find yourself someone else for all that slave galley crap. I am staying right here. I love the mess that this place is! You should see the stuff that happens here. Just the other day some dude offed his big shot brother. Can you imagine that? And hmmmmfffgg...people slaughter each other, in the name of God, heeheehee! And you have politicians elected by people fucking 15-year old girls. And they all get prime time TV coverage!!! Beat that now! That is the real evil, not your fire and brimstone bullshit! I am sick of it.
Lucifer: Huh? Don't say things like that. Will improve things around here. Get you a couple of personal slaves and stuff. May be even your own customized pleasure fortress... Ask what you want and I'll give it you. Haven't I always done that? Stay on here, and help me run this place.
Wise Man: Now you sound like the HR department of one of those stupid corporates, dangling carrots when someone is about to leave... You know what a HR department is? And by the way, I don't need a 'pleasure fortress'. Down here on earth, I have the Internet...
You know what? I am sick of Hell, sick of you. With your green horns, scaly tail, and stupid robes. Take my advice. Shut shop there. Lease Hell out as an extension of heaven, with basement parking and all, con the fools up there out of some money, and get yourself a life.
Lucifer: Please, please...wise man. Don't do this. I think I am going to cry...
Wise Man: And while you are at it, you could polish your fingernails, call yourself Lady Lucy, and become Medusa's pimp...
Lucifer... Woooaahhhh!!!
