Monday, December 15, 2008

Fixing our backyard...

When I first saw the events unfolding in Mumbai on my TV, a myriad emotions ran through my brain – shock, pain, hurt, distress, then anger, and then finally, frustration. I was tempted to rush to my laptop and indulge in the cathartic activity that is writing/blogging. But I did not do so, scared of what would come out. Beneath all our pretensions of civility we are, after all, animals…

I felt it would be safer to venture forth into the world of the written word once one was sufficiently calmed down. And so I watched, felt, and listened. Amid all the different things one heard, there was one sound that, for the first time, refused to die down. This was no wail of the hurt and helpless Indian; it was the roar of the angered Indian, of people who had finally decided that this WAS the limit.

This was the roar of the common man against all those thugs in khadi that have the audacity and temerity to pass themselves off as our leaders. As our ‘netas,’ as people worthy of being protected, of people being so valuable that the government dedicates the nation’s elite military wing to guarding their asses while they shit on the public day in and day out.

These ‘netas’ are the people that have redefined 'politically (in)correct behavior – locking up their stooges during election time in five-star resorts so they do not run off to the opposition, hurling abuse and tables and chairs in the nation’s Parliament, bringing down a government because their man was not given the chance to milk the common man and fill his coffers… The sad part of it all is that we put them there in the first place.

I began wondering how it came to pass that a nation of a billion people put together a collection of such self-serving rogues as our elected leaders. The instant temptation is to cry out ‘Shame on us!’, but does that help? The answer is ‘No.’ Because that would be an exercise in futility, a trap we would do well not to fall into. It cannot anymore be just about pointing accusatory fingers. It has to be about finding out what is wrong and fixing that.

Because something sure is desperately wrong. It has been for a long time, and it is high time we woke up to this fact and fixed it. Ourselves. Because no one else is going to do it for us.

So what would we have to do? Not throw the leadership into the seas, obviously. That would not serve much of a purpose other than bringing down the population count by a few worthless hundreds. The answer would be to find a fix in the system. To fix larger intangibles and tangibles, such as corruption, abuse of authority and power, and other such higher issues. It would be easy to say that these are easy to say but almost impossible to do. My answer to that is it has to be done.

Take for instance the average leader we have; let us start at the municipal level. Who are these guys? Educated guys with a sense of governance, morality, responsibility, ethics, dignity, and other such traits that would go a long way in determining good leadership? Responsible individuals that take it upon themselves to embrace politics to bring about a change in the lives of the Indian population or, forget such high thinking, at least in the lives of other members from his ward? 9.95 times of 10, the answer to that is simply ‘No.’

What is the objective of a person who enters politics today? Is it betterment of society and ensuring that all Indians are able to live decently? Is it a career goal with personal advancement along the way (that is acceptable as long as personal ambition does not overshadow the basic purpose of getting oneself elected as a ‘people’s leader’)? Or is it a way of getting rich quick and ensuring they are able to subvert every rule in the book to guarantee for themselves a fortune and for their family a ‘richly ever after’ story? We all know the answer to these questions.

There are many more such questions that crop up, all at the very basic level. How many netas do we have of ‘average’ or ‘middle class’ income? How many netas have we had that were born rich? How many netas do we know that are ‘successful’ and yet untainted? We know the answer to these too.

What we have basically is an assortment of crooks, cowards, and rascals with limited or no vision, people who are not able to see beyond their own personal gain. The aim of someone entering politics today is mostly to:

a) Ensure they make enough money to last them a few lifetimes


b) Use the power available to a politician to stay out of reach of the law and evade punishment for offences committed


c) Indulge themselves in the pomp and splendor that is attached to the life of a ‘leader’ in democratic India today.

When your base levels are that pathetic, it is stupid to expect much from the higher echelons, because the base defines the system, and while you may find more educated people at the top, the system ensures that their mindset is the same as those at the bottom – shallow and steeped in personal gain.

So how is it that these people are able to win elections and project themselves as our leaders? There are two factors that contribute majorly to this – the naivete of the poor Indian at the grassroots and the emphatic power of money. The politicians use a combination of these two factors to drive their agenda, often symbiotically, to achieve their ends. In the suburbs and towns, we have ceased to care, to bother. And so it is that a crook with a criminal sheet longer than the Great Wall of China becomes my leader.

India has been about dynasties all through its history. Dynastic politics exists even today in India, with the leading light being the Nehru-Gandhi family. Another word commonly associated with ‘dynasty’, besides ‘power’, is ‘wealth.’ All such political dynasties have at their beck and call untold wealth, all gained at our expense, which they use to further their agenda of greed, selfishness, and power.

Another question that I cannot resist asking – what is the average age of our national leadership? We know the answer to that one too. Our senior politicians are halfway to the grave, many three-fourths of the way, actually. And yet, we see no semblance of a sign of a young and dynamic leader. The only face we get to see on TV these days that does not look like father time’s wickeder cousin is Rahul Gandhi, and that too because he is being groomed by his mother to take over the reins of the country.

So is it that in this nation of one billion there is only one young Indian fit to lead the country to better times? Hell no, I say, and this is a statement we all need to make, and this is something that we all need to believe in, that there are people even now, among us, who have the wherewithal to lead this great nation to greater days.

What is basically required is a total overhaul of the system. Equally important is a shift in focus. Being in politics cannot be about making money. It has to be about ensuring that the people of this great country get what they deserve – a good life and prosperity. Governance and good sense have to be aligned side by side.

Corruption has to be rooted out. Elected and selected officials have to be made to understand that our money is not for them to take, but for us to give for tasks done well. The word ‘accountability’ has to find its place in the lexicon of Indian public life and politics. With all of this, there is a possibility that we will be able to evolve a system that is designed for governance of the people, not their exploitation in the name of religion, votes, and what-have-you.

This would be the first step towards a stronger India. It is wonderful to read that though the American president is a Democrat, he is going to have men in powerful positions who are Republicans. That kind of thing is what drives good governance. I do not say that by having a Republican in his government, President Obama is going to change the world. But he definitely knows the value of the individual removed from his political affiliations, and that is what we need to understand and imbue as well.

All of this would help us build a strong foundation for a stronger India, something that we have not had even 60 years after independence, because our leaders have been doing their best to ensure they remain leaders and we their servants. Now is the time to take steps towards building these foundations.

Once we are strong internally, once we have cleaned up our act, then and only then will we have the moral fortitude and courage to take on others who have wronged us and harmed us, those who brought death to our cities’ roads and homes. Until we undertake this internal exercise, we can posture and rattle our sabers all we want, we will not be able to do anything much about ensuring no external power threatens us like it has in recent times.

This is not the one-stop solution for dealing with cross-border terrorism, if I may say so, all of what I have written. It is however something that is critical to our well-being and something that would go a long way in helping us fix all the problems that afflict us, including cross-border/global terrorism. It is something we need to do internally so that our lives are better and so that we have people in higher places of governance with the passion and zeal to take steps and ensure no one, I repeat, no one, has the balls to come and create mayhem in our backyard without suffering the obvious consequences of such an act.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Namma...?

Have you felt the need to take in the experience of a megacity with a difference? Have you actually wondered what it feels like to live in the software capital of India, namma own Silicon City? Here’s a teaser…

This is the city where entertainment stops for the commoner at 11:30 p.m. If you are a big money boy, you could try your luck at the five star joints...at least that is what one senior government official has said they would be looking to do…

This is the city where it takes just one major rain to give you the lowlife experience – water all round, and filthy too to boot, and no boat around, of course…

This is the city where auto drivers charge you obscene rates, after having their meters fixed, of course, to take you home after 10:00 p.m. If you are lucky enough you could have this privilege hurled at you by 8:30 p.m.…

This is the city where you are the quintessential ‘naarth Indian’ despite dutifully paying your taxes to the state coffers each year for the past decade… Where people smile at you when you speak in Kannada in amazement, as if you are the pet dog that not only knows how to shake hands, but also howl hallelujah do a cartwheel while doing so…

This is the city where you pay obscene amounts of rent for houses that would normally cost a fraction of the price elsewhere. And for your added privilege, you also get the chance to play the Good Samaritan – make the landlord richer by paying a 10-month deposit or an outrageous lease amount. Some of them have nowadays asking for a 15-month advance… am wondering if that is a reflection of an improvement in arithmetic…

And the latest attraction! Multi-hour power cuts – today we were privileged to live without electricity for over 5 hours and counting (there is no power even as I squint at my laptop keypad and type out this post…

Now, if I was a copywriter looking for inspirational ad copy to woo visitors, the above would definitely not be what I would write…

What makes it all the more difficult to take is that despite all this, I still love this city. I like the countless friendly people I have met here who take a liking to me because of who I am, and not just because I am an outsider who can speak their tongue. I like the simplicity that most of the people here tend to show…

Do not get me wrong; I feel proud to be able to speak Kannada, considering it is so different from my native tongue or any other language I know – English, Hindi, et al. And yet I hate it when I get the compliment of being able to speak like a localite… however well-intentioned the compliment, it seems more and more patronizing.

While it may be easy for someone reading this post to say ‘If you are so pissed take a walk dude…’ it is not all that easy. This is a city where I have spent more time than I have spent in my hometown. A city that I have grown to love and then hate and still love…

Where do I go? Relocate to another place after growing roots here? Go back to my own place, which seems more alien with each passing year? This, I believe, is the essence of the diasporic sensation, of rootlessness, compounded by being stuck in a place that you have got used to, with all the negatives…

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

India Shining...

Can you spot the trend in the following news items that we have been seeing over the past couple of months?

India fails to extradite Quattrochhi: To top it all, we may have to pay his legal fees as well. Thankfully he is not talking about damages! Oops! Now apparently, he is, too...

Moninder Singh Pandher, of the Nithari serial killings (in)fame, gets off almost all the charge sheets being filed: Reason - The CBI has found no evidence to implicate him in the actual crimes...

India and Pakistan discuss possible safe passage to enable armed militants to return home from operations in Jammu and Kashmir: A rare delegation of leaders from Azad Kashmir are talking of “heart to heart” talks with Indian interlocutors...

Dawood Ibrahim’s sister, and then his brother, walk away from punishment scot-free: Rumor has it that his other brother, Noora, is supposedly coming down to Mumbai, openly, to manage their affairs here. The reason for both: bungling of epic proportions by the police and administrative machinery...

No to Kalam for 2nd term as President. UPA zeroes in on Pratibha Patil: Pratibha who???? The Presidency of India is not decided on the basis of relevant parameters like ability, personality, and charisma. It is decided on the basis of obnoxious, irrelevant, yet vital parameters in the Indian context like caste, religion, passivity, etc.

The person who would have been the best choice for President (Mr. Kalam) is probably not going to make it, for political and other such reasons. I am sure the entire nation would more or less back his candidature, but matters are no longer in the hands of the entire nation; it is in the hands of the thugs and pimps we have elected as our representatives. Instead, we have a woman who is standing, mouth wide open, to kiss any ass shoved at her face so she gets to be the Prez...

It is things like these, and the thousand others we see, hear, and read about that make me ashamed to call myself an Indian. I would like to switch tracks for an instant, and then jump back.

Sometime last year, I saw the movie Rang de Basanti. I have always maintained that Rang de Basanti, while being a well-made film with brilliant performances by all the actors, has fascist overtones – killing off a corrupt man cannot obviously be the solution in civil society, however necessary it may seem. More and more, I am forced to revise my opinion about my country. More and more I think may be we are not a civil society after all...

Considering the fact that we actually burn alive the woman that the son of the house marries, mostly with his collusion, and that we have people that are elected representatives in Parliament who have criminal cases like rape and murder on their heads, the solution shown in Rang de Basanti is probably the only way things will work in this country.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Super-creep

I have not been blogging in a long time, and rust of some sort has set in, I guess. More than rust, there has been some sort of communication breakdown - the desire to write does not seem to translate into a flurry of fingers across the keyboards...

Wishful conversations:

Super-creep, Take 1:

Friend: Some chicks think you are a super-creep.
Super-creep: Now isn't that interesting! I am wondering: what color briefs, or should they be G-strings, do I wear above my customized super-creep gear? Should I be the first cross-dressing super-creep? Should I wear anything at all?

My comment – For all the bling, bleach, and bluster - Neanderthals still exist!!

Sorry if I offended the sensitivities of the Neanderthals…

Cut!

:-)

Disclaimer: 'Friend' is not one of the Neanderthals. 'Friend' is one of the few people it is easy to have intelligent conversation with.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

World Cup Rants

We lost badly yesterday, and I am upset about that. After all, I do support my team and expect them to put up a good fight, especially on a stage that is the biggest to showcase national pride. I am upset that the team that had the top three one-day runscorers in its ranks bowed out so meekly. I am upset that I see on the snapshots, ad clips, hoardings, and any other media you can think of the big guns of team India every time I look up or switch on the TV. Because, face it, while we are ranting and raving about sacking Dravid and Chappell and Tendulkar retiring, these guys are still getting their fat paychecks. It is sad that people spend time staying up late to cheer these guys and watch them win. That temples offer puja before a match. And that Team India turns out to be such a farce.

But these things only upset me. What angers me is when the media, the same media that were going gaga over Team India till yesterday, now try to crucify them. Face it, did you for once seriously think this Team India could win WC 07? Whom are you trying to fool? This is not Team Australia or Team South Africa. Now those are teams that can win the Cup, because they have the fighting abilities and the passion to win. And also talent.


No, you did not think we would win. You hoped. We all did, and that is no crime. But what you did next was criminal. The media, cricket, life, everything today is all about the money. You not only hoped, but you stoked the fires of illusion. You floated around the ridiculous ads of the boys transforming into tigers or whatever cock and bull you would have us believe. And the moment the boys tripped, you pounced on them. You put on your self-righteous hats and passed judgment on all - from Sachin to Greg to probably the driver of the team bus, all the while making it seem like you were only passing on the fan's feelings. The same feelings that you with your pre-WC hype, helped stoke.

No sirs, you are equally responsible for this fiasco. This fiasco would have been acceptable behavior instead of the stunning loss had you guys not sold us these dreams. You talk of accountability. So stand up and accept your role too. There is this program on CNN IBN running right now, called Tryst with Disaster, which is supposedly analyzing the reasons for Team India and Team Pakistan's loss as well as Bob Woolmer's death. What it instead was for the first 15 minutes was this dubious presenter screaming from the rooftops the standard disgruntled fan reaction - sack Dravid and Chappell, put Sachin to pasture.

Instead of putting up such ridiculous drivel, why doesn't the media do something more constructive? Stop propagating the hype. India is not equipped to win the World Cup. Have you ever stopped to wonder how it is that we managed only one World Cup title? That we always choke under pressure? That after the WC 83 triumph, West Indies, whom we beat to the title, came to our backyard and hammered us to kingdom come? Wake up, sport, it is not within us. Not yet.

Finally, stop this 'Hang the foreign coach' nonsense please. The only reason we went in for foreign coaches was because we had a procession of home grown coaches that could do nothing about making us winners. Final word. It is just a game. Let us stop living our fantasies through a bunch of bewildered 'gods' and get on with the other great things that life has to offer us.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Coinage

An update...

This is a term I coined out of an existing Indian usage.

The term: Hanumantaile.

Meaning: Something that keeps on prolonging, a la Hanuman's tail in Lanka...

Hanuman is revered as a God in India. He is closely associated with Lord Rama, who is considered one of the avatars of God. As the story goes, when Rama's wife Sita was abducted by the asura (demon) king Ravana to Lanka, Hanuman went across the sea searching for her. After he found her in Ravana's Asoka vana (garden), he went on a rampage, destroying things in the garden. Finally, he let himself be captured so he could be taken to Ravana, and convey Lord Rama's message to the demon king. When Ravana made fun of him as a monkey and ordered that his tail be set on fire, he suddenly let his tail grow and grow, and with the elongated tail, set Lanka on fire.

That is the story behind Hanuman's tail...

Cheers!

Friday Night Ravings...

Lucifer: Lucifer calling Wise Man from hell. Come in. Over.

Wise Man: Wassup, hommes?

Lucifer: Hey! Mind the manners, Wise Man. You must show respect to me! Over.

Wise Man: Manners??? Ha! You sound like you been demoted to Heaven... And what's with the Morse-ian 'over' bit? You still got your ass stuck in history or what?

Lucifer: Hey! That's because I don't have any of the technology bigwigs around here yet; they have managed to bribe their way into Heaven. All I got here is Old Morse, and Alexander Graham Bell is senile. I asked him to give me a working prototype of his stupid invention and after a month of going cuckoo he managed to patch together an alarm clock. So what do I have? Morse and his outdated technology. Over.

Wise Man: What the hell do you need technology bigwigs for? Be careful of them, by the way. The one that dropped out of school owns Microsoft now. Just get some stupid junior techie with a fancy degree. You'll have a few of those, I am sure.

Lucifer: Yeah I have a few of those. But they dangle their company's confidentiality agreement and patent every time I ask them about technology. The smarter ones ask for royalty. Can you believe that? Ask me for royalty!! I almost fainted.

Wise Man: Do I have to tell you everything nowadays, Luce? Just get old Medusa to walk naked before them, and you'll have the latest in hi-tec communications at your beck and call.

Lucifer: Medusa!!?? @%&@$ Arrgh! She gives even me the creeps. Why don't we scout around for a few hot model types?

Wise Man: Why? You feeling horny yourself - no pun intended - or have you come across a lot of money lately? Don't bother with hot models for techies. Those guys will dig Medusa, trust me. Anything that vaguely resembles woman will do, and age no bar...

Lucifer: Be careful with your comments about 'horny', my boy. Those are my prized possessions, you know...

Wise Man: My boy? Man, you are getting on in years, Luce. You look old, you sound stupid, and you act dumb these days. Why don't you put yourself to pasture? Go to heaven's gates, spit on those that arrive there, mock the Archangel or anyone else you find there, piss on the clouds. You might get a few cents thrown at you, hopefully not 50, coz that will rap the shit out of you... Hell you could even try and tempt some of those fairies down to our lair. You used to be good at that, remember? In short, have yourself some fun, dude.

Lucifer: I will take that under advisement. And grrrr...your language is bad. Where the hell have you been and what the hell have you been doing anyways?

Wise Man: I have been chilling out here on Earth. It is an awesome place. Makes your Hell look like kindergarten, and you like a toothless old crone.

Lucifer: Enough, enough. Earth is just a laboratory for me to experiment on, not some super-advanced version of Hell as you think... When are you coming back here anyways? Need some help to control all these freaks here. Do you know that I haven't had a whipping orgy in 350 years?

Wise Man: Dude, go find yourself someone else for all that slave galley crap. I am staying right here. I love the mess that this place is! You should see the stuff that happens here. Just the other day some dude offed his big shot brother. Can you imagine that? And hmmmmfffgg...people slaughter each other, in the name of God, heeheehee! And you have politicians elected by people fucking 15-year old girls. And they all get prime time TV coverage!!! Beat that now! That is the real evil, not your fire and brimstone bullshit! I am sick of it.

Lucifer: Huh? Don't say things like that. Will improve things around here. Get you a couple of personal slaves and stuff. May be even your own customized pleasure fortress... Ask what you want and I'll give it you. Haven't I always done that? Stay on here, and help me run this place.

Wise Man: Now you sound like the HR department of one of those stupid corporates, dangling carrots when someone is about to leave... You know what a HR department is? And by the way, I don't need a 'pleasure fortress'. Down here on earth, I have the Internet...

You know what? I am sick of Hell, sick of you. With your green horns, scaly tail, and stupid robes. Take my advice. Shut shop there. Lease Hell out as an extension of heaven, with basement parking and all, con the fools up there out of some money, and get yourself a life.

Lucifer: Please, please...wise man. Don't do this. I think I am going to cry...

Wise Man: And while you are at it, you could polish your fingernails, call yourself Lady Lucy, and become Medusa's pimp...

Lucifer... Woooaahhhh!!!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

A Vision from Hell...

Last Saturday I had a vision from hell. And no, it didn't involve sinners and losers and all the others that stay there. It involved innocents, and that was what made the vision all the more frightening, impactful, and lasting.

I was driving down Nandidurg Road, and suddenly I could smell this awful stench coming from behind me. My first thought, "Yuck! The garbage truck!" Then, "At this time of the day? Evening?" I leaned back slightly as the truck overtook me. The smell was overpowering. As it passed me by, I could see that it was not a truck. It was a big van.

It was a three-tiered van. Each tier was crammed, absolutely no standing space. With goats and sheep. They looked frightened. And they were bleating. I have never seen a more saddening sight, nor heard a more heart-rending sound. Those eyes, afraid, helpless... They were all bleating, some almost hysterically. With each bump the sound would rise, and then some would go quiet... Resignation? And then bleat again... Fear?

Death is something we all must learn to accept. Because it is the inevitable end to the concept of life. But violent death? That's a hard one. Violent death of the innocents? One can accept the fact of the death of a loved one due to disease, age...

But this? To be brought up, fed, even cared for probably, only to be sent to the slaughterhouse? Why?

If they could feel, they would probably feel the same way the millions of Jews felt on their last rides to Dachau, Auschwitz, Treblinka, Chelmno, Plaszow, Bergen-Belsen... We at least have the strength of consolation...

I know it is part of the natural order of things. That there is a place for every animal in the foodchain, and that goat and sheep and chicken belong there. Finally. On the truck to the slaughterhouse. Or under the knife. That there is the need to survive, and we as humans are better equipped at this game than all other species.

I don't know that my going vegetarian will make that much of a difference in the natural order of things. But I certainly know that I can sleep better because at least from now on, I would not be one of the millions waiting for the meat to arrive...

**I still haven't got over that sight.**